1. |
Factory Fodder
03:25
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something beyond us has seen you.
no harm will fall on us to top the disasters had.
in the factories staring everyday with dimmed and goatlike eyes,
to a future waving back.
motionless march to the top.
sure it’s more than what you had?
repeat, dumb suffering.
you will never have asked any of it.
sob on and off, it stings.
smile’s coming apart at the seams.
you’re still here. marching on.
excuse me while I tend to how I feel, this life’s reserved for me.
things will break, I tend to how I feel, this life’s reserved for me.
so let’s steal some meaning.
you say I’ll believe it. who thinks my planned escape a failure?
failure, deserter.
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2. |
Broken Middlefinger
03:22
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the world has moved and stripped you of your past,
you’re late to the game of no-dimension chess.
keep staring, stare with your empty eyes.
unsmiling mouths, making dumb dimwit sounds.
once again streets are dead and we’ll wait until the end
thinking we’d never do it again.
fear is here, fear is real.
the tide is loose and the best are drowned.
smile and nod for peace of mind.
the center fell, it could never hold.
the flood is now, who’ll remember you?
drown, you coward.
eleven digits, number among numbers.
they brought the whole ensemble for your forced disappearance.
you raised the finger, now watch as it gets mauled.
labor and pain frame every fucking TV show.
your worst photo adorns the missing poster right atop the please call if seen please would you number.
back at home mom’s weeping bloody sparks for her number among numbers.
number among numbers.
nobody will ever find you.
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3. |
Ghost of Joy
04:22
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every day, I pry open strangers’ mouths.
look down throats, no words at all.
hoard their stubs, breathe in their smoke.
taste no tears, no laughs to spare.
every day, I gorge on plastic straws to suck the warmth out of their lives.
a wall of dreams divides them from the dead.
go to work, read the news,
I was in arms reach.
mow the lawn, feed the kids,
I was in arms reach.
wonder how you’ll seize the day, bound and gagged with my memory.
ghost of joy haunts your town,
leaving gifts.
ghost of joy has sealed all exits.
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4. |
New Rome
05:19
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strange how far down the line you remained with me,
breathing down my neck.
and if I thought I deserved you, you’d be my enemy.
tired of the fight,
of the din.
guess I should spend more time getting over you.
and if you’re not up to changing,
who am I to blame you?
old town, we’ll never be alone.
new rome, you’ll never let us be.
all that we ought to be, blood in your body.
strange how far down the line you remained with me.
am I your ancient history?
will people name a street after me or should I just keep paying bills?
I nod and I smile and pretend that I struggle.
send my thoughts to the broken.
it’s been a lifetime of watching you,
can I please just look away?
I have no doubts anymore,
no nets, no guarantees.
a few words is all takes.
some will abide, trying to pray away the pain,
to savour the drama of the day.
and I love you, but just say,
why would I stay and watch you die away?
those who got out early know in their bones this is all a false paradise and they’re lucky to be breathing.
mired in numbers and in law’s double-talk,
in mindless games and fruitless labors,
grinding.
dawn in new rome,
pale yellow, scentless gray.
sleepless commuter-folk wearing their human coats.
the light is searching for angles to shine through.
buried beneath bus lanes and noises.
the sun, it arrives but it shines on no one,
the delusional and the childish look for morning.
a hope for a start and a death and a raise
and a welcome change that a hand makes out of nothing.
counting seconds, one by one,
covered in blood that’s not mine.
there must be more to life.
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5. |
Betterland
04:27
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lately I’ve been facing this version of me.
my thirties will only be spent so I won’t be a resentful,
ill-tempered, all-thought-no-effort of a man.
I crave what I deserve.
I toiled, I broke my back.
so I’ll be better off in betterland,
the bitter end of bitter men,
fertile lands of betterland.
I’m scared I’ll turn into a laughingstock,
what if my only skill is disappointing mom?
she says the world owes you nothing,
the world owes you nothing!
and I know she’s right,
work so you don’t feel like a parasite.
it’s all I know, for what it’s worth,
of that I can’t be sure.
don’t tell me to be honest with myself.
the more I see what’s there the more attention I crave.
I could eat the world, still it won’t be enough.
lately I’ve been facing,
facing the weight of defeat.
facing how selfish I’d been, halfway there.
halfway, I need to get things off my chest.
fall down the right set of stairs.
and I know that it’s arrogant and childish to ask,
but I cannot help it, I want it all.
better, I’ll do better, give me better, always better,
room for better, live for better,
always nothing.
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6. |
Kill the Houselights
04:43
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throw the windows open,
let the dead air out.
dance relieved, the curtains
it's hard to live an ordinary life.
breeze unwraps your dark gift
a barrel between your eyelids
a shot is fired but the birds are still alive
throw the windows open.
bright future havers, drunk feckless bastards
this life you have lived is lost in the fire
to nowhere goers, zealous pursuers
get your things, all aboard the burning train
daydrinkers, nailbiters
worry all over again
cave dwellers, rent payers
no use for lies, just kill the damn houselights.
open the dark gift.
break your back for beauty.
throw the windows open,
let the dead air out.
bright future havers, drunk feckless bastards
this life you have is lost in the fire
to nowhere goers, zealous pursuers
get your things, all aboard the burning train
marching band of idiots
worry all over again
daydreamers, the curious
tell your lies, don't kill the houselights.
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7. |
Chokehold
04:06
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crime.
here I walk, terms are met
a social criminal
bullets bit, lockjaw set
I’ll be what I was today.
outside, people stare.
it’s what we do.
doesn’t mean they know you’re you,
stray dog.
territorial crows scream the news
turning heads in the pews,
a fearful welcome.
others, I’m trying to calm you down,
stay in my lane.
shoulder your way past, a fire is all I see.
I don’t mind the ash,
don’t mind the smoke,
strain at the leash,
I bite my rope.
down.
head down, heads up, head aflame.
here I walk, the terms are met.
the terms were met.
I have been and can’t be
a person from a place.
trees are mine, so is peace.
score’s on the board, who’s the undeserving?
head high.
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8. |
Half Your Life
06:02
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damn you all
I'm calling your bluff
what else is left to be done?
run amok, headfirst in mud
no turns, steer blind
crave, passions of your lost life
pianos burning, books unread
pay won't last the daybreak
violins hung, bills due
buried my youth in a cheap grave.
laugh it off,
it's just half your life.
don't look for a clue,
the story's never been about you.
don't expect me to entertain you,
I've stopped having fun long ago.
damn you all
I'm calling you out
knees gave out in thirty years
chewed and spat out
ambitions paved over.
shiver, haunted crews of missed boats
brought up on yearnings
future never takes shape.
bite their tongues, they clean the mess
still chasing the same promise.
laugh it off,
it's just half your life.
don't you look for a clue
the story's never been about you
don't expect me to entertain you
I've stopped having fun long ago.
days, weeks, years with wings
fly away with strangers on their backs.
you people have been lying to me,
all this time I've been late for the wrong train.
you people have been lying to me,
playing games, convince me to stay here.
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Twenty Million People Vancouver, British Columbia
Vancouver heavy metal trio.
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